(17th March, 2017 Email)
Anyone who has been in and out of share-houses before has had one or two slightly ‘quirky’ flat mates in their time.
I’m no different.
When I lived in Canada, I could have sworn that one of the girls in my house was an ex-heroin addict. You know the type. Skinny, frail as a twig, whiter than milk…
Then there was the professional poker player. We never saw this dude. If he wasn’t on his computer making his money, he was leaving the house to get his take-away dinner for the night (no lie – he did this EVERY single evening)
None of this really concerned me. Whenever I’d meet these roommates, we would have a good chat. Be it about life, the universe, or something interesting like girls.
But there is this one strange girl where I currently live.
She never talks. She keeps her earphones in at ALL time when she’s in the house. And I’m fairly sure she creaks her bedroom door open just slightly, then listens for a good minute or so to make sure no other roommate is nearby… before darting from her bedroom to the front door to leave the house (all with her head down, staring at her phone, in case someone was nearby that she didn’t notice)
This kind of thing ‘erks’ me.
I understand not everyone are social animals, but I have always figured that if you live under the same roof as people, you may as well get to know them at least slightly.
So I ‘trapped her’.
I found her cleaning some dishes one day, earphones in, music blasting. I tapped her on the shoulder, motioned for her to remove her earphones, and introduced myself.
Mind you, this was about 3 weeks after she’d moved into this house (she’d done well to avoid me up until then).
I started off slowly, exchanging names, and then out of the blue, gave her a 3 minute, in-depth story about my day.
She was a bit ‘stunned’ by the fact she had just stood there listening to me for that long… I could see it.
But then the magic of my master-plan unfolded.
I proceeded to ask her about her day.
And she responded. For a good 2 minutes. She went into detail about what she had done that day and what she would do later (Please remember, this was literally our first conversation ever).
I heard something drop to the floor.
I quickly turned to see another roommate, a cool Turkish dude, half stunned as he went to pick up his knife.
(He later confessed that hearing her talk had dazed him. He too hadn’t heard her talk)
I made a point to follow up every time I saw her running through the house, with a quick conversation about her day and mine.
And here’s the funny part:
For the last few weeks now, she has actually taken her earphones out and approached me to start a conversation.
My point being?
During my very first conversation with her, I played on the principle of ‘reciprocity’. By taking the initiative and just ‘speaking’ for 3 minutes straight, telling her about my day and everything throughout it in detail, I subconsciously encouraged her to do the same.
Now she had ‘permission’ to talk to me for a length of time. To go into detail. To feel comfortable.
Let this be an important principle that you utilize during your Daygame approaching.
If a girl is not opening up to you as quickly as you’d like during Daygame, simply start telling little stories about yourself and then give her an opportunity to follow suit and do the same.
Sometimes this is easy to imagine in theory, but how do you start implementing it practically throughout your Daygame?
Well I have got you covered.
Check out my Daygame infield pick-up approach example below. It is a recording of one of my Daygame sets.
I have broken it down with every technique I used throughout this conversation. And it shows some examples of creating reciprocity like above.
You can have a listen here:
See you tomorrow,